When that person says "I feel that you're bullying me, please stop it" and the other person chooses to continue, then the bullying becomes clearer to all onlookers.
Exactly. Many don't understand that quite often when one is attacking another that it reflects as much, and often more on the one attacking that the one being attacked. Quickly creating questions such as why the compulsion to go scorched earth and in this way as to involve spectators. The link I shared mentioned that aspect of it, the use of the public square being used to recruit others to the cause of belittlement against the target.
It's a (I can't think of the appropriate word) confidence building mechanism - if they rally the troops to support them, then it increases the feeling of "being right". It helps to remove the doubt that they're behaving inappropriately and could perhaps even be considered "mob mentality". Which as I type this, it sounds very much like what a group of bullies would do at school - egging each other on to go one step further.
Interestingly enough
The video and link I shared primarily discusses the cyber bullying in terms of kids. Most of the research I did before writing this seems aimed at kids.
One of the common areas as well addresses one of the root dis-eases that comes from this as
Which in essence magnifies the stress of the one being targeted. I saw that happening in this situation as well although being many involved are from my circles I wonder at the level of awareness on the full implications. I believe I mentioned in one of my comments to another on this that the dynamics of Hive (and Steem before that) was one that was conducive to conflict and the mindset has been ingrained in many without their understanding it is a mindset that one can let go of.
Blurt has a structure unique in the potential for respect with the absence of the flag and stake negation. That so often came with mobs of bullies who rallied to curry favor with those in power using those flags.
In this current case the one targeted did initiate the confrontational dialogue, to which I did initially respond although in a way that was designed to allow her a respect while warning she was setting herself up to be a target. To which she in turn informed me my views weren't welcome so I gave her the last word. I didn't need the last word. All the words were already said and at that point it would be just bickering to be bickering.
I've said often that when one is debating an idea, if it turns to personal attack that then becomes relentless, that most times it grows to be a reflection and cause for examination of the one wielding the attacking words and no longer the target of such words. Questions arising to motivations and desired results.
I say this as someone who at times has been a broken record on my defense of property rights and speech. And my motivations have been because I see that bad thoughts (as well as good thoughts) are indeed communicable and if they are mired in dis-ease it can quickly spread as it is adopted by more folks who are spreading it to others.
I do believe if we can reach a point where one respects others property and personhood that it opens a door to being able to disagree with ideas yet not denigrate the one holding the ideas in contention.
Thanks so much for adding your thoughts to this conversation.
Ah yes, of course it was. There's an assumption that once we become adults, we grow out of that kind of behaviour but there's certainly something about being online (not just on Hive) that makes the inner child appear.
I suppose in situations like this, people don't have time to stop and think. They read something, assume it's confrontational and start / continue a fight that isn't necessarily there. In time, they'll do this to so many people and wonder why they're alone. Not knowing the background (and not being particularly interested in finding it out).
I don't know... a large portion of society has stopped listening to what's being said and instead hears what they want to hear. The conversation that was never had from words that were never said from a world view that isn't shared. I've always had an amusing thought that my gran's generation never said what they thought - my mum's generation complained in private - my generation complains politely - the next generation complains loudly and aggressively about everything.
Off I go on my little tangent...
You're always welcome 🙂