It was not long ago since I left. In fact, I came over once a month. I'm getting old so it means the kind of life will be different. Not staying at home where I'm living for the future life to come. To have a family and to have a better future for the children. It feels so sad to think that it's how life works, yet all of us can't escape from it. Time passes and there's no way of returning. Even so, it's just hard to adopt right away. The happy memories and the kind of lifestyle are hard to loosen up.

Whenever I listen to music, the past keeps haunting my thoughts wishing to come back from the old days. I began to be confused about which place I should be. The home where the house is full of memories or the recent place which my loved ones hold. Sometimes I envy those people who can easily adopt the kind of life they'll have. I mean, they're willing to sacrifice everything, including their emotions for the new life.

Sometimes I felt sad and scared why life is like this. I wished to cry but no tears would fall and even I couldn't explain why. Perhaps, a part of me understands and a part of me doesn't. The pain keeps hurting my thoughts to think that there will be no escape to reality. No matter what I'd do or I'd think; this is life and this is it.

Now that I'm going home. Mixed emotions are flowing. Happy that I can finally go home and stay for longer. Sad because there's someone I left there and sending messages, missing me. Another thing that makes me sad is because in time I'm leaving home and leaving my love for future plans. A little bit heavier in my chest just by thinking that I'm leaving. Although, I'm doing my best to be braver for a better future that I can enjoy soon. That's why a free-write to free my thoughts of not being sad and keep on fighting.

Freewrite

Be brave if you want to have a better future. It's okay to leave for now and stay so you can enjoy life more without limitation. Just cry if you want to cry but let the tears be your strength. It might be a sign of sadness but do not worry because I know you understand that you are doing this for yourself and for your family in the future. Let the tears clean your eyes to find happiness.

You may be alone most of the time. There will be time for you not to be when everything will be good enough not to be hungry. Just remember that you can't live well when there's no shelter. Instead of worrying, keep praying that everything will be alright. If you work hard and dedicate your life to something you really want, it will happen.

Thank you for reading

All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fit in my article.

ABOUT ME

_{Paul is the name but prefers to be called mrnightmare that feels like living in the dream. A country boy and a dreamboy (dreamer) who likes to stay in a small village even though it means abandoning the future to become a seaman. The passion is writing but not sailing in the vast ocean. Don't wonder if the face will not be shown, this is better where the words can flow smoothly. Come, you can tell me your stories and I'll tell you mine. Together, let's explore the world by broadening our thoughts. If you need a shoulder I can lean you mine and I hope I can lean yours. The world is fun when living is not being alone but with someone.}

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