Diary of an insecure lover

in blurt •  4 years ago 

'Diary of an insecure lover'
I loved him, I knew he loved me too.
I had insecurities, he had them too.
Every 'I love you word' he uttered was accompanied by so many questions.
He constantly tried to reassure me he was here for me, anytime, anyday.
I couldn't believe him. I constantly made up scenarios up in my head that constantly hurt my feelings.
Each time he was out, I always wondered who he was with, where and what he was doing.
Everytime I saw my messages on two ticks on the green app, it stirred a thousand and more questions in my head.
I wanted him, and at the same time I didn't.
I think I'm toxic
Or maybe Bipolar.
He tried to be there, I pushed him away.
He got tired
He gave up.
What happened to the forever we promised each other?
He's online, I am too.
Staring at my screen, waiting for that 'I want us back text' that may never come.

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