I couldn't think of a better way of letting you know that I've decided upon my new persona. What I find surprising upon my "return" is that I think I agree with everything you've said (although I have no interest in taking sides in whatever argument's triggered this debate to reappear). I've even said some of what you've written privately.
I know I had that conversation with my son when he turned 18 and knew everything much better than his father. His vast knowledge and the preferences they evoked made it clear my house wasn't a suitable place for his genius to reside within.
I hope that his genius found a new home and that it visits you regularly 🙂
I need to read all of the comments another day. It takes a long time to read your posts and it appears that my time has run out ⌛
Welcome back. I had to go look at your profile to know who was returning.
I'm not surprised myself. I imagine despite some of the areas we part ways, there is probably a good deal of areas where we will see things similar. I've found that to often be the case even with folks (usually far left) if the right common areas to begin dialogue take place. I believe often the area that trips up agreements are on the extreme fringes of ideas, and if we can venture into the vast areas not on those fringes more people actually agree than is apparent.
Welcome back. I wondered what had become of you.
Sadly not. If anything he has become more stubborn in his views and has little patience for one who is often as ignorant as myself as he is prone to telling me before he lets me go in exasperation. An example of this most recently was maybe a month or so ago (I just moved) we were talking and I mentioned I couldn't work in the field I just left because here they demand one have the Covid injection. He is very pro injection, and despite knowing my stance on it he took my discussing my hardships as an opportunity to lecture me on how this was another good reason to get the injection.
After some harsh words where I was reiterating points I hold (including I've had Covid twice and will stick with my natural immunity to mitigate what twice now has not been life threatening) he grew so angry with me and my views that he hung up on me and we haven't spoken since.
This issue between us (one of many) began over two years ago regarding the injections, before they were even available. I wrote about it here if you ever get bored and need something to read.
https://hive.blog/blog/@practicalthought/when-neighbors-and-family-demand-a-not-so-civil-war
I show that primarily to demonstrate this has been an issue we've known for some time to be divisive between us, and I found his desire to make my hardship a battleground over it to be distasteful.
Welcome back :)
It's good to be back 🙂 I thought that I'd take some time away because I didn't like the way I was spending my time here. I didn't feel that I was being myself and with my profile on Steemit being what it is, I didn't feel that I could be myself whilst using the same username. I always felt that I was betraying my friends on Steemit by "working" here as well. In my "time off", I've been able to form a clear idea in my mind for how I can benefit both platforms by doing different things. I'm quite excited at some of the ideas I have, especially for Blurt.
I'm sorry to hear that things aren't great with your son. It's an all too familiar tale where people try to force their beliefs upon others, perhaps not realising that neither person is listening to the other. The vax / anti-vax divide is unnecessary - I'm on the vax side of the fence and have no intention of forcing my beliefs on the anti-vaxxers - in the same way that I wouldn't welcome anybody trying to convince me otherwise. Some topics simply shouldn't be discussed with family - I had a disagreement with my brother about a month ago regarding what I perceive to be immoral and dishonest "tax evasion" by key government figures. Because legally, they had done nothing wrong and my brother's job is to help people "avoid" tax (i.e. pay as little tax as possible), he took the other side of the argument. I got massively pissed off (as did he) and it's now clear to me it's a "no-go" zone. Whether he realises it's a no-go zone or not is irrelevant, I won't allow it to come up in conversation again.
I'd love to advise you to call your son, agree never to discuss the topic again and accept that it's a topic that you'll disagree upon for eternity and living in silence won't change that. At heart, you both know that the other's best interest is a priority, in the case of vaccinations, you disagree as to what this means.
My best friend is anti-vax at a time when he and his girlfriend could both lose their jobs and subsequently their home because of their views, all I could say was "you know the consequences of your choices" in the same way that I know having a vaccination that many believe wasn't thoroughly tested could also have consequences. But I don't want to turn this into a vax vs. anti-vax debate. I guess it's about going into decisions with your eyes open. You know where you stand on the topic and you know where your son stands - this doesn't mean that you can't have a strong relationship once one of you makes the first move 🙂
The crux of the matter in the dynamics between my son and myself is it takes two in order for it to work. I had a similar dynamic with my dad for years. He couldn't accept many of my decisions (I tend to exacerbate many with my ways lol). I tried reasoning with him that my decisions were none of his business as I wasn't asking him to shoulder any negative repercussions that could arise from my decisions.
Yet he wouldn't stop with his cutting remarks, which grew more cutting with time as he grew to seeming despair he could not live my life for me. I finally cut him off to the dismay of some of the family. We went ten years without speaking. My stance was it was easier to love him from a distance.
He finally came to understand his relationship with me was more important than trying to be my dictator and he made an effort to reach out and apologize. The last few years of his life we got along swimmingly for which I was glad. However, I was prepared to never speak to him again as I deserved better than his abuse. That dynamic would insist I have no free will and am little more than an extension of his will and intent.
I've reached that place with my son now. He was the one that disengaged because once again I wouldn't roll over and acquiesce to his desires and insulting manipulations to achieve such. In my eyes the burden now rests with him if he is willing to hold a relationship of mutual respect between us. The burden on him now to reach out if he desires such. I won't waste my time in such and am willing to love him from a distance as I did with my dad and go the rest of my little time left without speaking again. A relationship with him is not worth abuse and being a second class individual, which is what he would and has been demanding. It can only work if we both see one another, not only my seeing him.
In the case of the Covid injections, I understand the views are opposite, and as such I never bring up my concerns regarding them with him since that initial disagreement years ago. The only reason it was brought up in this case was my despair over my financial situation (still not having a job and bills rolling in) which he initiated in asking me how my move was going. It all could have been so much smoother if he could have respected my position and just said something along the lines of, "I'm sorry your having such a hard go of it. I'm sure given how focused you can be something will break in your favor soon." Anything but a lecture, lol. Especially if he wasn't prepared for my rebuttal as he is smart enough to know would be coming.
Well... having known you for all of about 2 dozen messages, even I'd be wise enough to know not to lecture you 🤣
If it hadn't been 2 years, I'd suggest phoning him, telling things are so bad that you need to come and live with him... see what he says. Maybe wait until next April 1st...
As sad as the story sounds to me, it sounds like you're entirely at peace with the situation which is good - we can only hope that your son is too and as you both grow older, the history with your dad repeats itself with your son.
I'm sure that this is true - you're a resourceful man so it's only a matter of time. Once Blurt hits $1, you'll be laughing.