I Am Not Who I Was Destined to Be

in blurt •  last year 

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When I was a child, I knew I was here for a purpose; I had a destiny.  Through My youth and into My early adulthood, I had no idea what My destiny was – but I knew I was destined to do something grand.  I knew I would be rich, living well, and People would pay Me in great appreciation.  I knew that fame would be Mine.

Though I started out in an upper middle class family, and went to a decent college (though the campus was on the edge of Watts), I struggled getting work that paid much.  In fact, it was always on the low end of things.

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And through this, I was dealing with the damage I sustained from a toxic jab when I was six – the “polio vaccination” for a disease that was brought on by the spraying of DDT.  I had (and still have) psoriatic arthritis.

This meant I could not do jobs that required standing long periods, or anything that required repetitive movements.  I was relegated to desk jobs.  I started as a teller for a bank and didn’t really move up the ranks, but did move around in the lower paying jobs, from branch to headquarters.

I finally decided I wanted to do graphic design when computers became commonplace, and took a cut in pay to take a job that would teach Me the skills needed.


And all this while, I was looking, ever looking, for that destiny of Mine.

Though I had relationships, none seemed to last more than about three years, and often less.  But in My 42nd year, I met a man that clicked.  We never argued, and had the same interests.  When I just shy of My 46th birthday, I gave birth to Our daughter.

We were a very happy family.  I was the bread-winner and He was a stay-at-home dad, and Our daughter was learning at a tremendous rate – when She was three, She could read simple things, and when I tried to show Her the number line, She looked up at Me and said, “Mommy, math is easy.”

But even then, I pondered this destiny I knew was there.  Even then I just knew that some day I would be famous for doing something, living richly.


Then, when I was 49, the place I was working at was bought out and the work moved out of state.  I was out of a job.  I had saved so little, not having a high-paying job – enough for maybe three months’ rent.  It looked like the Awesome Family (as Our daughter called Us) was going to be out on the street.

I applied for disability, because even before the workplace was purchased, the boss had expressed dissatisfaction with My work speed.  I was having to take many breaks and the pace I could maintain was suffering.  My arthritis was getting progressively worse, and I just couldn’t maintain the pace needed without flare-ups and a lot of pain.

They denied Me disability, saying I was “faking it!”  Because I had psoriatic arthritis and not rheumatoid arthritis, My SED rates were normal, and on that basis They denied Me help.

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And so, not wanting Our child living on the streets, I avidly looked for jobs, grateful that Monster made it very easy to apply to many jobs in short order.  I was applying to 35 to 50 jobs a day, nearly every day.  Even jobs I doubted I could do, but wanted to give a shot.

But no One took Me in as an employee, and as eviction approached, I asked My sister to take Our daughter so that I would know She was safe.  I let Her grandfather and His wife take Her to My sister’s – a big mistake!  I wrote up that experience in another article – “I Should Have Known,” linked below.

My partner and I went on an adventure, having a friend in Brooklyn offer, at the last minute, to let Us stay.  And off We went.

And still, I just knew…


We ended up in Ithaca and on services, in a small apartment in a subdivided old mansion in “downtown,” and tried to get Our daughter back.  Again, I covered that in the article linked below.  And eventually He and I went Our separate way.

And always, always I was studying and searching for what I would offer.  Reading everything I could find. Focusing on money, economics, and psychology (with a keen interest in psychopathy) on the (then un-castrated) web, and all books I could get My hands on.

I remembered My dad telling Us, when I was very young (My memories start at age one, the day I learned to walk) about what They were getting in the experiments He was helping to do.  His excitement about what They were getting is still so vivid, and He would talk about what His work would mean for My future – cities would float, cars would fly, and We would have all the energy We could use.

I have a video about all that, also linked below, that explains how His work was pulled into black projects, hidden well from the public.


I knew that money promoted a lot of ghastly behaviors, nearly always in the hands of psychopaths.  They would pay Others to do dirty work, and it was clear that money also promoted psychopaths to the top.  It gave Them the power over Others They lust for, and would not stop short of breaking the Laws of Ethics to get the most.

And then one day I borrowed Jeremy Rifkin’s book, Entropy, from the library.  It was fascinating overall, but one thing stood out for Me.  He said that all money is is stored energy credits.  And in that moment, in a flash, it all came together.  Free energy – from the electro-gravito-magnetic field that pervades the universe (the “aether”), feeding it energy, the energy We are and We swim in – meant that money would be pointless.

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If One can have all the energy One could use, what is the point in storing it in credit form?  And then…  I knew.  I knew My destiny:

I came here to tell You all that aggregately You can create so much better...but no One is listening.  I offer the blueprint (video linked below)...but no One really looks.  I will answer questions, but so Few ask.  Yet still…

I persist in attempting to share awareness – even to the point of being accused of “spamming!”  I am driven by My love for You, for Humanity, and Our planet.  I will persist until I die.  And when I die, I will be satisfied knowing I did all I could, expressing the Betterment Ethic.  Aiming to better Humanity’s lot on Our psychopath-controlled (because of money) planet.  Everything I could do to bring awareness of what We can build, can co-create, if We decide that We will.

And to those who say that “money has a useful function,” consider the many tools We have put down because using them was dangerous and the danger was not worth it when We had better ways come along.  I have another video linked below explaining why money is both archaic and a very dangerous tool.  Do not assume anything by the title.  LOL!

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So today, though I spent over a decade avidly applying for jobs, though I had offers but then would hear nothing, though calls and emails went unreturned, though the Few I got through to ALL sounded nervous and made up reasons I was not hired (and One I caught in a lie), though I gave up after all that time trying to get a job – and now, at 66, am getting a pittance from social “security” – less than ½ a studio apartment’s rent, enough to feed Me beyond the small bit food stamps offers, covering sundries, and little bits I give to My friend who lets Me crash on the studio apartment floor, helping out when I can…

I still work to share awareness, more jaded, I suppose, than when I began the journey after it all came together, after My destiny was made clear.  I do not kid Myself that I will succeed, that I will live richly, but I will hope that someOne will find My work, and bring it to light after I am gone.

Love always!


I Should Have Known:  https://hive.blog/informationwar/@amaterasusolar/i-should-have-known

Electrogravitics:  Gravity Control & Energy from the Aether:  https://odysee.com/@amaterasusolar:8/electrogravitics-gravity-control-energy:6?lid=eeff9e0c80138ce03e22d76bcd5f2f873ff46b72

The Detailed Blueprint (for a Society of Ethical Sovereigns):  https://odysee.com/@amaterasusolar:8/the-detailed-blueprint-vocal-redo:9?lid=eeff9e0c80138ce03e22d76bcd5f2f873ff46b72

Is Money Evil?:  https://odysee.com/@amaterasusolar:8/is-money-evil:9?lid=eeff9e0c80138ce03e22d76bcd5f2f873ff46b72



Endia – A Short Story by Amaterasu Solar

Quite the Opposite – A Short Story for Change – by Amaterasu Solar

The Abundance Paradigm – A Novella by Amaterasu Solar

My father taught Me never to believe anything.  He told Me to place probabilities and adjust them as new data come along, asking the question, "Does that explain what I see?," when evaluating data.  He was an aerospace engineer, and worked with T Townsend Brown (see My featured vid on YouToilet).  From a very early age I was concerned that the way I was told things worked, in terms of government and social affairs, did not explain what I saw.  So the first few decades I worked to determine WHY this was.

I wound up in banking, seeing the flow of things in the headquarters of a major bank in Los Angeles.  I became intimately familiar with the flow of money, and economics.  I asked the question, "Why do We use money?"

When the web arrived, My research capabilities flourished, and I learned much that explained what I saw, but the only explanations I found for why We use money started with trade and barter, which are still money in a direct form, and did not answer the WHY.  Then, I came upon the explanation that these were used because, with a finite amount of stuff, it was to ensure that We got Our "fair share" in a scarcity environment, in exchange for the work We added.

From this I realized the WHY.  We were accounting for Our energy input into things.  And that We needed to do this because the Human energy was scarce compared to what We needed to be produced (back then).

I also discovered that over half Our planet's wealth was "owned" by fewer than 100 Humans...

I was very interested in psychology, too.  And studied it deeply, being fascinated by psychopathy, focusing on that aberration, learning that They had discovered a gene that manifested Individuals who were incapable of love, compassion, caring, and empathy for Others – primary psychopaths.  Seeing that the wealth was so disproportionate, and that the families who "owned" it inbred, what would explain what I saw would be that They wanted to retain that psychopathic gene.  Given that the wealth could feed, clothe, house ALL of Us (and give Us freedom) abundantly and many times over, and yet None set forth to care for Humanity, I had to give probability approaching 100% that They are psychopaths, as that explains perfectly what I see, and answers My quest for why the way I was told things worked did not explain what I saw.

And I asked...  If I was a psychopath, with enough wealth to buy anything and anyOne I wanted to, and given that money = power (power over Others is something psychopaths seek), would I be motivated to create a false "reality" for the masses and thereby manipulate Them?  I think You can figure out what answer I came up with.  And would that explain what I see?  Absolutely.

Now, given that money is merely the accounting token used to account for Our Human energy, it would follow that free energy would threaten fully the accounting for Our energy.  If I was a psychopath, with enough money to buy sites like Wikipedia, the media, the education system, etc., would I do all I could to suppress and hide free energy? 

And given I personally know that electrogravitics offers both gravity control and energy from the aether (the electromagnetic field that pervades the universe), and that it went into black projects, such efforts to hide and suppress would explain what I see completely.

So I am neither a "conspiracy theorist," nor am I a "conspiritard," but rather...  I am a conspiracy analyst.  And given this analysis, knowing that conspiracies are the NORM in history and that they didn't just stop some years back, I conclude that conspiracies abound.  That explains perfectly what I see.

Love always.

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