Indepth Feelings

in blurt •  4 years ago 

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this feeling i can't name
made my head go turmoil.
it started one day,
but lasted forever.

i met this guy with his head held high
was watched by everybody as he passed by.
just wearing a tee paired with his jeans
his eyes are amber, has tanned skin.

saw him entered our classroom and sat beside me,
shocked and confused was written on our faces—
was dazed and confused on what he did
i decided to excuse myself, that left him hanging.

i walked down the corridor
not minding my tears to fall
my head keeps saying to stop
but it won't.

i walked fast and began to run
wiping away my tears of sorrow,
but someone grabbed my hand
someone i used to know.

that someone pinned me on the wall
eyed me with those alluring eyes;
in blue and bold.
his gaze are gloomy and mirky
chose to ignore it, faced him fiercely.

'what are you doing?' he asked darkly;
his eyes shooting daggers on mine.
'i'm the one who should say that' i replied
preventing myself not to cry.

'you left me, remember?' i managed to ask,
'i'm sorry'
that's what he just said—
my heart ached seeing him teary-eyed
but that didn't stop me.

'i used to love you, i used to care for you,
i even rebelled, but you just wasted it'
'do you really love me, or you just used me
to forget that girl, who caused your agony?'

i said that and remained still,
waiting for your reaction; expressions on your face.
you didn't move, didn't even blinked
your eyes, still on me; shades became darker
and broody.

your face is inches from mine
i can even feel you—hardly breathing—
your musky scent i used to sniff
your ripped shoulders i used to carress.

your lips met mine; i closed my eyes
but it didn't melt my heart,
didn't even touched it.
it seemed cold; didn't feel the heat.

you continued but recklessly stopped
did you feel my clammy lips;
did you felt the cold?
you have given me, you coldhearted jerk.

confusion was evident in your eyes;
that eyes i used to stare at.
smiled bitterly and forcefully,
for i can't stop pretending.

i am tired of your lies
that once made up my life,
tired of your excuses
that even fooled me countless times.

'i want to end this shit!' i shouted at his face,
'i'm tired and unhopeful for this relationship to work'
'go to your girl, apologize to her'
i said while slowly untangling your hands on mine.

i know that i'm just a rebound
i know my place since the start
i know that when your with me,
you're thinking of her all the time.

pity was in your eyes,
those eyes full of lies,
i chained you in this love
that we became fools; you and i.

'thank you' that's what you just said
those two words though simple,
those two words though cheery
left a pang in my chest.

it's over—
this love we used to share
it's over—
you're free; go love her and be happy.

while i am left here,
mourning and acrimonious—
watching you run away from me; didn't even bid a goodbye—
watching my love who once lit up my life.

MY DAILY AFFIRMATION INFLUENCED BY THE BOOK THINK AND GROW RICH!

By the 1st of April 2021, I will accumulate a Net Worth in excess of $20,000 with a monthly income of $1,500 or more.

In exchange for this, I will Keep on Trading Forex and cryptocurrencies
My mission in life is to establish a blockchain trading community on blurt

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