It was a craving, an urge, a feeling I couldn't just ignore or shrug off.
My self discipline couldn't be compared to it's power. When I start I wouldn't stop until I'm drained of both God's gift to man and the fire God had deposited upon my life...
When I am done with the process, my strength fails and I am left empty. I have gone through a thousand Deliverance services and heard countless sermons still I'm bound...
Tears rolled down my eyes, as I dipped my hand into the jar of oil. Unbuckled my belt, and began.
I wanted to stop but somehow I was held captive in my own imaginations. A little experiment turned addiction...
"God save me", I cried, but it seems as if Heaven's doors have being shut over me. "I speak to you foul spirit, leave this body for it is the temple of God", I declared a thousand times all to no avail...
I was losing the battle.
My prayers were not effective. My action was draining excess protein from my system. I needed help. I turned to medicine, the doctor warned that "if symptoms persist after ten to twelve years, later on you'll be a victim of prostrate". Alarmed now, I turned to herbs, I drank different greenish yellowish portions but the urge only got stronger...
I was looking skinny, like someone infected with some chronic infection or so. I was in Big Time. Still no sign of Deliverance...