I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don't want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It's high time that I accept all the great things about me. - C. JoyBell C.
Do you ever stop to give yourself credit for the magnitude of the winding road you have travelled in life - the distance you have gone and how many times you thought you would wave your white flag but didn’t… all those moments that felt like mountains and yet somehow you managed to get yourself over them.
Probably not - but we should, because life can be really hard sometimes and it is bad enough that we have to navigate our way through some of the challenges we do, but denying ourselves some positive recognition only allows further elevation of our inner demons.
Life is not always pretty, in fact many times it is downright BRUTAL – but that brutality always hold a message if you open your eyes and stop long enough to absorb it! I think often about all the things I have chosen to put myself through in my life so far and I smile. Fuck was it a party and a journey! For sure, some of it was rough beyond comprehension, but even THOSE moments I treasure. When you sit with fluid clay on a wheel, it is an act of balance and control which ultimately creates the masterpiece which you get to call your own. Life is little different.
As we move along this journey, we are creating our own personal masterpiece and some of the most beautiful pieces of pottery in the world almost never have straight lines because it is perfectly imperfect - just like we are - and we owe it to ourselves to take a moment now and again to appreciate that.
We ALL have regrets, or rather “lessons”. I try not to focus on the word regret too much because the reality is that ALL of our so-called mistakes have something positive to offer if we take the time to see beyond the chaos and emotion. Life does not come with a handbook, we just have to wing it! We need to be receptive to the decisions we make and simultaneously mature enough to acknowledge when those decisions were NOT the best ones we have could have made. THAT is what counts… not the “mistake/decision” itself.
It is all intrinsic in our individuality and simultaneously what makes us all a part of the “whole”.
“You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.”
― Mary Oliver
I find moments of contemplation like this creeping into my days more and more often now. Perhaps it is because I am more removed from the “chaos” of life, maybe it is because I am getting older and so is my son, or maybe it is because it really does take almost a lifetime to embrace realisation of the things which actually matter.
Would I go back and change anything about my life? NO! Would I go back at all? NO! I feel blessed to have the broad experience I do. It changed me - Shaped me. I sit today with a quiet confidence in the knowing of who I am, want and where I am going. I would not change that for the world!
“I am glad that I paid so little attention to good advice; had I abided by it I might have been saved from some of my most valuable mistakes.”― Edna St. Vincent Millay
Everything we do each day is contributing to our bigger picture, our aspirations and goals. Some days it will feel like we have achieved a whole lot more than we have on others and that is ok. We need to learn to be accepting of the speed of progress and growth. It is not all going to happen all at once. Our energy and enthusiasm for the journey forward is also going to waver and this is also acceptable. The main thing being that we continue moving forward, keep trying - keep on, keeping on - and ALSO being aware of the fact that what we did, regardless of how seemingly little… was enough! Be kinder to ourselves… that is what we need to be. When it comes down to the nuts and bolts, we don’t need very much in life in order for us to be happy – pretty much all the ingredients lie within us.
It never ceases to amaze me how when we simply let go, have faith and trust the process, allowing ourselves to enjoy the journey- it all comes together like a beautiful symphony. When we let go of what we think do or don't deserve, what we should or shouldn't have, when we get out of our own way - that is when we receive what we truly need.
You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all of that doesn't even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It's not like you have forever, so don't waste any of your seconds, don't throw even one of your moments away. - C. JoyBell C.
The photos shared were of the sunset from our place.
Gorgeous right?!
MUCH LOVE BEAUTIFUL SOULS!
❤❤❤
Until next time...
Much Love from Country Bumpkinland, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea
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