Road Back to Better, Part 1: The Burden of the Past

in blurt-192372 •  2 months ago 

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It was a late October evening when Nathan found himself staring out of the window of his small, dimly lit apartment. The city outside was bustling, children playing games and business men and women running home to their families, but inside his world, it was quiet. Too quiet. The type of quiet that allows memories you’ve tried to forget to come flooding back.

Nathan had never imagined that, at 32, he would feel like a failure. The kid everyone believed would succeed, the promising student with scholarships, had somehow lost his way. After dropping out of college midway, he went from one job to another, each less fulfilling than the last. He’d buried himself in a mountain of regret, telling himself it was too late to turn things around. His relationships had suffered too—his friends had moved on, his family had grown distant.

Amidst all regrets nothing gnawed at him more than the one he let slip away: Amelia.

Amelia had been the light in his life during the early days of his dark periods. They met in college, and shared dreams of making a difference in the world, however, as Nathan's self-doubt grew, he pushed her away, and when she finally left, he couldn’t blame her. He had failed at love just as much as he had failed at everything else.

Tonight, though, something felt different. An email notification blinked on his phone, the kind that would normally be dismissed without a second glance, but this one caught his attention.

It was an invitation to their college reunion. Ten years since they graduated. Nathan didn’t graduate, and the thought of facing people who did was terrifying. He stared at the screen, his heart heavy with the weight of the decision. He could ignore it, like he ignored most things these days, or he could go. What was the point, though? They were all probably successful, living the lives they had planned.

Nathan poured himself a glass of whiskey, the old friend he’d turned to too many times, but before he could take a sip, something strange happened. His phone buzzed again—a text this time.

Hey Nathan, I know it’s been a while. Got the reunion invite. Are you going?

It was from Liam, his old roommate, the guy who always had his back in college. Nathan hadn’t spoken to him in years.

He put down the whiskey. What would it hurt to respond?

Thinking about it, he typed back, then stared at the screen, unsure what to expect.

A moment later, the reply came.

You should come. I’ve missed you, man. It’s been too long.

Nathan sat back, staring at the words. It wasn’t a plea. It wasn’t filled with judgment. It was just…kindness. A kindness he hadn’t shown himself in years. Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe this was a sign.

But as he leaned back, the memories came back harder than ever. The last time he had been on that campus, he had stormed out of a lecture hall, a failed exam in hand, telling himself he wasn’t good enough. He hadn’t returned since.

As the night went on, Nathan found himself fighting the urge to pour another drink. His hands trembled as he thought about Amelia, wondering if she’d be at the reunion. What would he even say if he saw her?

His mind spun until the first light of dawn broke through the blinds. Exhausted, Nathan made a decision. He would go. Not because he thought it would magically fix everything, but because, for once, he wanted to face the parts of his past that he’d been running from.

The email had said the reunion was in two weeks. Two weeks to get his act together. As the sun rose higher, Nathan picked up his phone, this time to make a different call.

TO BE CONTINUED….

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