Your Life Isn’t a Replay Button—Ask These 3 Questions to Finally Press Play!
Have you ever felt like a robot programmed to repeat the same routine every day? Wake up early, go to work or school, come home, watch TV shows, and sleep—only to repeat it all over again. Everything feels flat, like you’re stuck on a path someone else chose. I was in that situation for years—doing what my family and society called "right," but my heart kept asking: "Is this really the life I want, or just a safe path forced by others?"
My search for answers led me to three simple questions. No complicated psychology theories or expensive courses needed. All it takes is honesty with yourself and the courage to listen to your heart. Let’s explore them one by one.
1. "If No One Praised or Criticized You, What Would You Choose?"
Imagine a world without social judgment. No one praises your career, mocks your hobbies, or claps when you succeed. In that silence, what choices would you truly make?
I learned this lesson the hard way. Years ago, I chose to study mechanical engineering because my father said, "Engineering graduates get jobs easily." But since high school, I loved writing poetry and reading novels. For five years, I dragged myself through college—getting average grades, making no close friends, and feeling like a fish forced to climb a tree. One night, after watching Dead Poets Society, I asked myself: "If no one cared about my degree, what would I really want to do?" The answer was simple: I wanted to write.
From that day, I started writing in a journal every night. Slowly, I realized how many of my life choices were made to please others—from the clothes I wore to the jobs I applied for. This question helped me separate what I truly wanted from what I did to fit in.
How to practice it:
- Make one small decision today without worrying about others’ opinions. Example: Wear "weird" socks you’ve been hiding, or eat lunch alone at a café without posting it online.
- If unsure, write two columns on paper:
Column A: What do I truly want to do?
Column B: What do others expect from me?
Compare them, then pick one action from Column A to try this week.
2. "What Would Make You Cry with Regret on Your Deathbed?"
This sounds extreme, but it’s powerful for uncovering ignored priorities. We often get so busy that we forget to ask: "What’s the point of all this?"
A friend once shared a story about his mother, who died of cancer. In her final days, she said: "I don’t regret missing out on jobs or money. I regret wasting time holding grudges and not hugging my kids enough." That story changed how my friend viewed life. He quit his stressful job and started a small catering business to spend more time with family.
Why this matters:
A study in The Journal of Positive Psychology found that 80% of people’s end-of-life regrets fall into three categories:
- Not living true to themselves
- Working too much and neglecting relationships
- Not expressing feelings to loved ones
Real-life example:
I once delayed a trip to Bali for three years, claiming I had "no time." When I finally went, I realized my fear wasn’t about time—it was guilt about leaving work. This question showed me that memories with loved ones are worth more than temporary stress.
Try this:
- Write a "Top 5 Regrets If I Die Tomorrow" list. Example:
- Never confessing my feelings to someone
- Being too scared to start a business
- Rarely visiting my parents due to work
- Pick one item and take a tiny step to change it this week.
3. "What Do You Always Make Excuses to Avoid?"
Everyone has an "avoidance list"—things we know we should do but keep delaying. From small tasks like cleaning your room to big ones like ending a toxic relationship.
I noticed a pattern: the more important something is for growth, the more creative our excuses become. I once claimed I "couldn’t afford" a writing course. But when I calculated it, the money I spent on fancy coffee each month could’ve paid for two months of classes!
Why we do this:
Psychologist Dr. Susan David explains that avoidance is often a way to protect ourselves from emotional discomfort. We fear failure, criticism, or facing harsh truths.
How to fix it:
- Write down "3 Things I’ve Avoided for 6 Months." Example:
- Asking for a raise
- Seeing a therapist
- Starting exercise
- Identify the real reason behind each delay. Example:
- "I’m scared my boss will think I’m greedy."
- "I’m embarrassed to admit I need help."
- Break it into micro-steps. For "asking for a raise":
- Day 1: List work achievements from the last 3 months
- Day 3: Practice talking in front of a mirror
- Day 5: Email your boss to schedule a meeting
How to Make These Questions a Habit
Set a "Reflection Day" Each Month
Spend 30 minutes on the last Sunday of every month. Turn off phone notifications, sit comfortably, and deeply explore one question.Use a Cheap Notebook
You don’t need anything fancy. Write raw, unfiltered answers, then review them every 3 months to spot patterns.Find an Accountability Buddy
Choose someone trustworthy (not family) to share your answers with. My rule: "No judging—just support."Celebrate Tiny Wins
Reward yourself for facing fears—ice cream, a movie ticket, or extra nap time.
Conclusion: Life’s Too Short to Wear a Mask
For years, I thought happiness meant achieving what others called "success." Now I know: true happiness is living as your real self, even if it’s uncomfortable.
These three questions are simple tools that helped me escape doubt. They won’t solve every problem, but they’ll light your way. As Rumi said: "You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop."
Your Challenge:
Pick one question above and answer honestly in the comments. Example:
"I’ll regret not moving cities next year. This week, I’ll research jobs there!"
Images
Bronnie Ware:
Ware, B. (2011). The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Hay House.
Susan David:
David, S. (2016). Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive. Avery.