Sometimes I wonder why happiness comes in my life only for a few moments. For some time, everything seems absolutely fine, but then those moments fade away and I get lost in that same loneliness. Yesterday I was alone and today I am alone too, and this feeling eats me deep inside. Often I feel that maybe this is my fate, that I should spend a few moments of my share of happiness and then come back to myself again.
Living alone is a strange feeling. People often say that living alone is necessary because it helps a person understand himself. But when this loneliness gets over you, it becomes a synonym for restlessness and loneliness. I remember those happy moments that I get sometimes, but they are so short and limited that I am never able to feel them fully. And when those moments end, I drown back in the same empty space.
This feeling of loneliness has become my companion. Sometimes I feel that I have become so crazy that I can't tolerate anyone else inside me. Maybe the reason is that whenever someone comes near me, he comes only to fulfill his purpose and then leaves me here and goes away. Maybe that's why I console myself with my pain and loneliness. But sometimes my heart wishes that there should be someone who can understand my loneliness, but this doesn't happen always.
I often think about what those happy moments that I get are like in life. They are just like the spark that sometimes spreads from a lamp in the darkness. Those moments give birth to a hope within me, but that hope too is extinguished in a few moments. And when that feeling of happiness is lost, I again come back to the same knot that makes me feel lonely and lonely.
This story is not just about my loneliness, but also about those people who are my companions, who are probably busy in their lives and don't have time for me. It is difficult to understand whether I am the only one who is so lonely or whether everyone feels this loneliness. But one thing is for sure that as long as one does not have a friend or companion, the journey of life always remains a lonely feeling. Perhaps, I have now started considering this lonely feeling as a part of my life.
Today I am alive in the hope that maybe someday those moments will come back which will fill my life with light and happiness. But until those moments come, I am learning to live on my own. Maybe this lonely place will become my friend, or while fighting this lonely place I will find that happiness which has been waiting for me. But until then, I can only say that this journey of my life till now is just a combination of a few happy moments and limitless loneliness.