Here is the fastest and easiest way to screw up your life. In fact, here are seven things you should do if you want a life of misery and self-destruction. Step number one, stay indoors at all times, preferably in the same room.
In fact, make that one room your all room. You should work there, eat there, sleep there, and only occasionally leave the room when nature calls. And don't let a nice day tempt you into leaving your room.
Getting sunlight and a breath of fresh air is the last thing you need. That brings me to step two, practice stillness. The idea is to never move your body.
Stay seated at all times. Walking, playing a sport, or dare I say hitting the gym, is for those who have prioritized their life. You have far more important things to do, like remaining in your bed and becoming one with the furniture, not with nature.
To help you with step one and two, you must implement step three. Increase your screen time. Aim to spend 90 to 100 percent of your waking hours staring at a screen.
Get lost in the infinite scroll of social media. Compare your life to others and become reliant on the short-term gratification. And if you ever happen to leave your room and go to a concert or go on holiday, be sure to view the entire event through your phone.
Now that excessive screen time is part of your daily routine, ideally right before bed, you're ready for step four, irregular sleep patterns. Never sleep and wake up at similar times. This will increase fatigue and tiredness, and that's exactly what you need to keep you indoors and further away from any physical movement.
With enough time and practice, illness will creep in and that will make your pursuit of becoming the human equivalent of a piece of furniture even easier. Now that we have addressed our physical health, let's look at emotional and mental health. To really master your mind and emotions, always focus on the uncontrollable.
Become angered and triggered by everything outside your control. Because taking accountability is far too difficult. At least this way you have someone to blame when things go wrong.
It also helps you feel better in the moment and you can use this as justification for your lack of action. Speaking of how you feel, step number six is be guided by your feelings. Make all your day-to-day decisions based on how you feel.
You don't feel like going to work? Great, call in sick. You don't feel like going for a walk? Great, watch Netflix instead. Do this every single day for the next 10 years and you will make significant progress in your life.
Now speaking of progress, the final step is to set vague goals. Have zero clarity about what you want in life and what kind of person you want to become. In fact, make your goals ridiculously ambitious and unrealistic.
Enough to put you off from even starting. Make the attainment of the goal your ultimate source of happiness and self-worth. This way you will forever be chasing happiness and your self-worth will be more fragile than the mirror on the wall.
And of course, never focus on the process or implement small positive habits because the person you become is far less important compared to the ultimate goal. So now you know the seven steps to screw up your life.