When someone puts you down, remember that the way you respond can change everything.
- Make them say it again. When you calmly say, I need you to repeat that, or I want you to say that again, they don't get that hit of dopamine they were expecting from your reaction. You've now just put a big spotlight on their behavior, and that makes them nervous.
2.Regardless of whether they actually have the guts to repeat it, we're now going to turn the tables using questions of intent.
These sound like, did you want that to hurt me? Or did you intend to embarrass me?
Instead of a spotlight, they now have a mirror that they have to face themselves with the question, what was my purpose in saying that?
3.No matter what they say, don't respond. Let your silence be your answer. They're going to say that they're just joking, or they're going to start fumbling over their words and backtracking.
When they do, just let that linger. Then you're the one who looks in control.
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