Used to Be Pessimistic
Pessimism is the prevailing conviction that things will turn out poorly or perhaps worse. A pessimist, like me, has the type of aura that might stifle even the liveliest of atmospheres.
I rarely eat or sleep and simply watch television and read books since I am so lazy.
I'm always cranky and irrationally upset, damaging things and yelling.
Yes, I was so careless because I truly believed that everything would still be destroyed despite my best efforts, whether they were material possessions or interpersonal connections.
I was so harmful.
Well, I was once.
The road I had to travel to arrive at the attitude I do today wasn't a simple one. I've been dealt a pretty bad hand, and unless I can change my perspective, I won't live long (I can't think I must survive).
I'm constantly ill, and I think my mental health is a contributing factor. A healthy body is not conceivable if the heart and mind are so depraved.
I had a mental shift and a renewal; I filled it with kindness and began to read uplifting books and watch a lot of movies that were motivational. However, I've seen that it doesn't work since I constantly revert back to how I was, even if being a God-fearing person stabilizes it.
All I can think when someone bothers me is that I ought to respond appropriately. Even if things don't always turn out the way I expect them to, God's unending love and favor are still available to me as long as I seek Him out and submit to His will.
I greet people nicely and smile more these days. I also look at youngsters and animals with kindness. I no longer despise them or fantasize about hurting them.
I still have a pessimistic outlook and believe that things will only get worse, but because of my redemption or mental transformation, I now look forward to the day ahead with blessed optimism.
There is overwhelming ugliness and confusion in my own space, as there is in the state of the world, but since I believe that there is a sovereign God who sees it all, it helps me to endure it and prevents me from thinking, as I once did, that "it's more profitable to die."
People may think what you believe in is a fiction, but hey, it's worth it if you can maintain your sanity and live the life you have offered. Life will always be unjust, cruel, and difficult.