Yesterday I targeted a higher dry weight (body weight with extra fluid) so that I can complete my sessions without disruptions like feeling lightheaded just before dialysis treatment end or termination. It is because I always believe that upon targeting or lowering my dry weight closer to the more than desired level helps my heart. It is like the opposite of being waterlogged all the time which affects the left side of the heart if it continues to happen, the patient will develop a "big heart" and that is not good as it will get so sluggish with its beats and cause for it to eventually die.
Definitely I do not want my heart to develop problems so I am always wanting to make it relaxed and not cause it too much stress caused by blood volume overload. This happens in most dialysis patients who are for the most part too far from their ideal dry weight. Their hearts become big from getting stress-out of pumping blood full of water or fluids for that matter and this causes the major cause of death which is heart failure.
So far thanks be to God's grace and mercy, I still have a "Good heart" and the evidence of that is I am still alive until today and I am still doing ok although we will never know when God will give me my diploma for my graduation in leaving this rather interesting and beautiful world whether I like it or not. But I am doing what I can to make myself as healthy as I can do it because despite that other people sees me as a hopeless case, my ambitions are high and I hope that God wills it for me to achieve those because I actually want to do more good things in my life for the benefit of those around me.
With regards to targeting my ideal weight, I will just not overdo it anymore to the point that I already stated that I would feel struggling within the last hour of my dialysis session. You can't blame me for doing so because I wanted more fluid allowance in-between my dialysis schedule days because actually have less of it compared to other patients with normal body form. My backbone effectively squeezed my internal organs and in effect my lungs got a lesser capacity to intake air and so if I would consume fluids, the lung capacity get diminished if I would take more room by consuming fluids.
That is why I am always wanting to get all extra fluids out completely as it makes my breathing better along with feeling more relatively relaxed because my heart would also feel unburdened because I effectively would lighten-down its load. Anyway, I will still adjust my dry weight to a minimum, meaning I will not make my weight as heavy because I still have to consider that my lungs have fluids in them even after being dried-up below my "True dry weight". My nurses actually has to do it for me but I can't rely on them otherwise I will be dead a long time ago already because even though they know that a patient is already getting drowned by extra fluids, they will not initiate adjusting down that patient's weight until the patient tells them so and in many cases, the patient just gets worse until of course, the patient dies. Fluid overload is the second if not the main cause of mortality among dialysis patients along with complications of their primary diseases especially of dialysis was only a complication from their original disease like diabetes.
So it remains to be a very tricky part of my weight management because it is hard to balance it between having a better fluid allowance in-between dialysis sessions and being able to finish my sessions with being uncomfortable leading to premature treatment termination and then leading to my blood being not completely cleaned and at the same time leaving the dialysis clinic inadequately drawn with fluids, both of which I am always trying to avoid.